A Wicked Short ISBI: February 2014

Welcome back to the Wicked Short ISBI! Last chapter ended as the first baby of generation two was about to be born. Let's get right to it and meet the newest Amadeus.

It's a boy! Introducing Hot Dog Amadeus, a brave little guy who likes Egyptian music, key lime pie, and the color orange. Hot Dog because he wasn't a girl, so no ToMOOto, and hot dogs are Grape's favorite.

"What is that lady doing here? Is she gonna steal my Hot Dog?"

She doesn't want your baby, Grape. Just go home and feed him.

"Aw, he's perfect! With a bun and some ketchup he'll be just delicious!!"

"HEEELLLLPPP!!! THIS LADY'S GONNA EAT ME!!"

No she won't. I don't think. I am reasonably certain that she will not eat you. You, on the other hand, appear to be eating your father.

"Who's Daddy's little schnoogie-woogie?"

"NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM"

So, Chris, you gonna go to work? Your performance bar is getting in the red.

"I'm sorry, what?"

*sigh* Nevermind.

"YOU leave my husband alone. He has to stay here to keep the next door neighbor fairies from stealing my Hot Dog!"

"Uh, I don't think the neighbors want our baby, Grape. They have their own baby."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just paranoid, Grape. Nobody wants your Hot Dog, Grape."

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS FAIRIES, GRAPE!!! Well I SAW them!! They are right NEXT DOOR and NO ONE seems to UNDERSTAND what a PRECARIOUS situation we're IN HERE!!"

"I.....never said there were no fairies, I've seen our neighbors. I just don't think they want our baby."

It's a losing argument, Chris, though bless you for trying.

"Fine then, I'll protect my Hot Dog MYSELF."

"You hear me, NEIGHBOR FAIRIES??"

"You're not gonna get your hands on THIS baby. You come ANYWHERE near here I'll RIP YOUR WINGS OFF!!"

"Don't you worry, Hot Dog, Mommy will protect you."

"Honk-shoooooooo"

He's relieved, I'm sure. Chris, meanwhile, is having issues of his own.

"Hello? There's a wall here, I can't get out!"

Actually his problem is not the bathroom, it's the sprinkler I put in Grape's garden. He and Grape both constantly want to play in it but can't due to the small size of the garden.

So they'll stand there and complain three, four, five times in a row before giving up and doing something else, for awhile.

Next morning is HD's birthday (yeah, I'm not typing out Hot Dog every time).

"That candle isn't gonna burn the ceiling is it?"

Not likely. The table is a distinct possibility, but the ceiling is probably safe.

"Yay! We did it, Hot Dog!"

Daw! He's cute.

Mom's hair and Dad's eyes, nice! We got right to the skilling.

"Christopher, I don't know what you've got in your queue, but it's my turn with Hot Dog, so go do something else."

He didn't budge.

"See Hot Dog, if Daddy would just to work and earn us some money, we could hire a maid to clean up this mess, and Daddy wouldn't be fake barfing on you!"

Newsflash, Grape, the rules don't allow for a maid.

"No maid? Do you know what a dump this place is going to be? I did not sign on for this."

Sorry, dude.

"I think you're the crazy one."

That may very well be. Why did your mom stop skilling you? You're not even halfway done.

"She's just standing there, staring into space."

Oh yeah, look at that.

"Man, why does this take so long."

Baby number two on the way!

"Mommy wants to go to the spa, Hot Dog, but she can't because she has to stay here and teach you to walk, talk, and poopoo and peepee in the potty."

"Sowee Mama."

Oh Grape, don't guilt trip HD. It's not his fault you only have a couple days to skill him. Not to mention that all three skills is a pipedream. I'm hoping for two.

Finally her needs beckoned, so HD was left to his own devices for awhile. So, toddler spam!

"Get *BANG* in *BANG* the *BANG* hole *BANG*!!"

That's the wrong one, sweetie.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

LOL! He looks like the monkey on his shirt. You know, HD, maybe the block toy isn't for you. Why don't you try the xylophone?

"I like it!!"

You're supposed to hit the xylophone with it.

"I'm on it!"

Good. Rock on. Meanwhile, Grape went to pay the bills.

"I sense something sneaking up on me."

Deer, I don't know what your agenda is, but I'd get the hell out of here if I were you.

VERY early the next morning,

Oh dear, what's the matter HD?

*sniff sniif, wibble wibble**

"STARRRRRRRVIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!"

Grape!! Get up!!

"Yay!! Mama!!"

"I don't want anymore kids."

That's unfortunate.

"Gimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmie!!"

*Five minutes later*

"I'm totally in the green and am crying just for the sake of it!"

Sympathy is gone.

Hey HD, there are some perfectly good skill toys right over there. They're probably better than staring at the back of the couch.

"Nah."

What is going on over here?

"I'm teaching Hot Dog to walk, what does it look like?"

"Come here, Hot Dog! Walk to Mama!!"

That looks......painful.

"I'm coming, Mama!"

"I did it!"

Didn't that hurt?

"No."

Alrighty then.

"Rise, my son!!"

"This is SO AWESOME!!"

That does look really fun. Dangerous and weird, but fun.

To prove that everything is on the up and up, here's Sheldon with his baby, Charlotte.

"He coulda stolen that baby, too."

Give it up, Grape, Charlotte looks just like him. She's even pink, for pete's sake!

"Oh please, any half-wit can haul it down to the Home Depot and buy a can of pink spray paint. This proves nothing!!"

"Why do I have to unclog this toilet, AGAIN?"

Because we can't hire a plumber, and I've never seen a sim fix anything autonomously, not without a mod of some kind.

"When is this gonna get fun?"

Once you pass the torch and I no longer control you.

Chris got a promotion at work so we finally had enough money to add on another little room, so now HD and his future sibling have a bedroom.

Bathroom is still tiny as hell, but that may be a few more promotions from now. Or maybe next generation. And I'm realizing for the first time the the wood floors don't match. Whoops. I may or may not get around to fixing it.