Story Progression Flips Me The Bird

Welcome back to the Wicked Short ISBI!  Last time we welcomed generation four, Thinker and Venus, to the family, and said good bye to Jodie (graveyard) and Coco (moved out). 

"Man I am EXHAUSTED but I so do not want to get out of this hot tub."

My sims lurve hot tubs but nothing else brings me so much fail.

To add insult to injury, she actually got in bed, then got back out to pass out.  WTG, Moo!  First fail of the ISBI! 

"Zzzzzzz so.totally.worth.it. zzzzzzzZ"

Then, completely in the red, she decides to nap instead of sleep.

"Zzzzzzz not tired zzzzzzzZ"

I replaced the fountain with Jumbo Jr., here.  I think he is so cute!

"That was a close one!  Damn near lost my shorts!"

"But....but.....I was gonna go use the hot tub and pass out, again.  Maybe even pee myself!"

"My poor family is gonna be devastated."

"TaMooto Amadeus, your time has ....... dammit!!"

"I thought you'd fixed this!  Piece of shit house.  *grumble grumble*"

So where's Moo's heartbroken family?

"Zzzzzz can't wait to go to the future tomorrow zzzzzzZ"

"Ooooo, fish!"

"Oh come ON!  I'm trying to shower here, and there's some stupid grave in my way!!"

"Man, now I gotta go use the other shower on the other side of the house."

"I know I've seen this movie fifty times, but it just keeps getting better!"

"Oh my delicate sensibilities!  I'm not a coward but I'm still gonna faint for reasons unknown, since I never actually went into the bathroom where my Grammy is dying."

Not an official pass-out, FTR.

"You know, you try your best, you put 110% into providing a dramatic, memorable death, and no one bothers to appreciate it.  It really takes the wind out of your sails, kwim?"

"*sigh* Alright, if it'll make you feel better.  Just let me pause this."

"Oh crazy mother in law, I'm so *BOO HOO* torn up over your death!  I never really liked you but it's not a good idea to brush off Grim."

"Okay, how was that?"

"I don't think your heart was in it, but beggars can't be choosers I suppose.  Damn this family is cold."

And thus passed the torchholder of generation two.  Sorry, Moo, you did deserve better.  At least she can come back and haunt the crap out of all of them.

After a round of smacking everyone with the moodlet manager (which I only use for deaths), life went on as normal in the Amadeus household, which can't go more than a few days without a birthday.

"I am so glad we don't have to share a cake, Thinker."

"Me too!  We'll barely have leftovers as it is."

"I wish to never faint again!"

"I wish to never have to worry about where my next meal, or few simoleons, is gonna come from."

Both: "OH IF ONLY OUR POOR GRAMMY WERE HERE!!  WE MISS HER SOOO MUCH!!"

Just grow up so Karl can use the moodlet manager on you!!

"Oh yeah, I'm awesome!"

"She reminds me of that weird, hobo guy that used to come over and crash at our house."

She looks a lot like her mom, with Karl's hair.  She rolled "brave". 

Thinker rolled "mooch", an inappropriate mooch.  He'll never have to earn anything for himself if he doesn't want to.

"Ugh, Dad!!  Why are you peeing in here? I gotta wash the dishes!"

It's the bathroom. 

"No excuses.  We got a nice outhouse in the yard he can use."

Next day, Karl becomes an elder.

"I can't believe I still have to cheer even when there's no cake."

Aw!  He's still a cutie.

"Now that was a cool trip!  I traded my clothes for this amazing outfit!  I've never seen anything like it!  Did anyone miss me?  I feel like I've been gone for years."

You've been gone a couple of hours, no one missed you.

"Aw well.  At least I got this sweet axe."

He went to the past and got a fireman's award.  Yeah, I can't figure it out either.

"These people invented fire but I had to show 'em how to put it out."

Of course.

Venus brought Dennis Wolff-Durwood home with her.  Dennis doesn't know it yet, but he is betrothed to Venus should she get torchholder.  He's a werewolf AND he's insane.  He's several days older but I just had to.

Karl got an award from City Hall for sculpting (and selling) $25,000 worth of sculptures.  Not too shabby.

"Whoa!  I didn't realize my cool, future jumpsuit was the uniform of the rebellion!  The overlords were not pleased."

At least you still have your caveman outfit.

"Wow, Pugh!  I didn't know you lived in such a little shithole!  Can't you go live with Eddie or Coco?  Their places are pretty nice."

"Thanks, Karl.  I appreciate the support."

Here's his trailer on the inside.  He threw a party and invited Karl.

This was the extent of the party.  Pugh and Zoe Durwood (who is dating Winston, Pancake's son) watching tv.  These sims and their wild, raucous parties.

"Hey!  'Naked and Afraid' is on!  If that's not wild, I don't know what is!"

"This is so much fun!  I'm glad I changed into my party outfit!"

And your party hair.  Rock on, Karl!

"OH MY GOD!  You should see all the juice bottles in here!"

Do you think Pugh has a juice problem?

"'Fraid so.  He doesn't recycle!"

Oh, it's way worse than that, Karl.

"Neeeed juuuuuiiiiicccccce!!  RAAAWRAAWR!!"

Time to go home!

Things aren't much better at home.

"Why's all Grammy's stuff in here?  What if I wanted that old drawing?"

Mara must have been busy while Karl was gone.

Well that didn't take long.

"I missed my best friend."

Father and daughter, skinny dipping together in the afterlife. 

Everybody was out to enjoy the full moon.

"I look amazing."

Sure do, Grape.

Mira, meanwhile, had her elder birthday in front of the sink.

"That little stone statue keeps moving and creeping me OUT!"

Somewhere on the lot: *giggle* *snort*

"Do you think I still have a shot at my lifetime wish."

Wellllll, you're at level 7 right now.  If this were normal lifespan I'd say yes.  Now.......it'll be tight.

Venus is a dancing fool on the porch.  Hey, there's Play Doh!

"Mazel Tov!!"

"I have fleas."

And this is why you are no longer allowed to go over other people's houses. Not that it matters, tomorrow's your birthday.

"I wish to be able to find this whole ISBI thing, including my asshole brother, funny."

"HA-HA!!  You have purple hair!!"

I just realized that Karl looks like he's dying.  He's not, I assure you.

"I like keeping everyone on their toes."

Thanks for that.

"Dammit, Thinker!! Quit pointin' at me or I'm gonna shove that finger where I HOPE it's never been!"

"THERE!!  I grew up.  Do I get torchholder or not?"

LOL!  For someone who rolled "Good Sense of Humor" she looks perpetually grumpy.  She rolled "Superstar Athlete" for her LTW.  Hang in there, sweetie.  I like you but I need to wait for Thinker.

"I wish to have a bunch of crazy kids!!"

Jeanne/whatever:  "You sure that old man ain't dyin? He doesn't look so good."

"Come on, I'm adorable!!"

You are.  Although I didn't realize until now that you are almost an exact clone of your father.  Slap some purple hair on you and you're Karl. He rolled family-oriented for his trait, and "Surrounded By Family" for his LTW.  I really couldn't decide, I just love them both.  I could do dual heirship, but then he'd never have a shot at his LTW.  Plus I'd never intended to have two heirs.  Luckily the game stepped in to help me decide.

Um, WTF Brittany??  I had turned off all your romantic and marriage options in story progression when you were a teen so Thinker could marry you and make crazy pink and blue babies.  How the hell did you get pregnant?  Who's the father?

"I'm sorry, what is this 'story progression' that you speak of?  I have a boyfriend, Dennis.  The guy right here?  You know, the guy you had set aside for Venus.

I SHUT OFF HIS ROMANTIC AND MARRIAGE OPTIONS TOO!!!  WHY U DO THIS TO ME GAME??

*sigh*  After a tiny little ragefest, I went into MC and made Britt and Dennis acquaintances.  I decided on Dennis (and, thusly, Venus) because he's insane, and he and Britt don't live together which means she'll get the baby by default.  If I had Thinker marry Britt I'd feel obligated to bring the baby with her, and I don't know if that counts towards his LTW or not, plus it's a superfluous sim who can't be torchholder.  So Venus, congrats.

"What? This IS my happy face!"

Thinker:  "This?  Is bullshit.  I'm never gonna have 5 kids now."

On that note, we'll end it here.  Next time, new torchholder, new baby daddy, and more glitchy, crazy fun!

Torchholders: 3
LTW: 0
Children: 9
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/4
Pass Outs: 1
Pee fails: 0
Fires: 2

Fights: 0 

Reach top of career: 0

$100,000: 0