Save The Drama For Your......oh wait.

Welcome back to the Wicked Short ISBI!  Look!  There's a raccoon dreaming about this legacy!

"Zzzzzzzzz So trashy I could just eat it zzzzzzzzzzzzZ"

That about sums it up.  So we are on torchholder number 7, Barbra, who is suddenly with child.  Max grew up and moved out, the car population of Appaloosa Plains is leaning more and more heavily in favor of Sloppy Jalopies and Big Lemons as the more expensive cars are mysteriously disappearing. This is gonna be a short chapter, covering Barb's eventful pregnancy.

All is well at the Amadeus household, until Oz and Mark rock the bed one time too many.

"Well dear, I'm ready for go number three whenever you are!  Man, these little blue pills kick some ass, don't they?..............Oz? ..............Oz!?"

"Uh-oh, the rest of me is willing, but the ol' ticker seems to have given out."

"Oh NO!!  OZ!!!  I'm sorry!  I take it back!  We can be done for awhile, I promise!"

Dearest Mark, it doesn't work that way, I hate to tell you.

"HA-HA!!  See?  I CAN materialize in just the right spot!!"

Good for you, Grimmy!  We knew you could do it!

"Damnit, Daddy!!  You were supposed to be my free babysitter!!  Dad has an actual job!  Now I'll have to stay home.  This is terrible!!"

Grim: "Yes, yes, people can be so self-involved.  Now do you mind? I'm working here."

"PLEASE Grim!  My first grandchild is coming in just a few days, can't I stay for ........."

"So sorry!  My stick of awesomeness has a mind of it's own at times.  Now what were you whining about?  ....... Hello?"

And such is the death of Oz Amadeus, and with him the ability to easily make everything self-cleaning.  I'm sure he's frolicking in heaven with Brains and Zed.  Except he's really futzing around the yard and porch with MVP and all the other dumb asses.  See ya' soon, big guy!

Let's catch up with a couple of spares for a sec, shall we?

Abdul found a lady willing to have his puppies.  I've no idea what happened with Helena.  I'm wondering if they lived in separate homes and lost their relationship in the move.  Eh.  Like I give a fuck.

Max is doing well.

Of course she got the athletics job.  And as for the number of sims occupying her previous home, you lived alone, you idiot!  You have a cat or a dog and that is it!

"HEY!!  My pet takes up a lot of space!!  I needed to move out! You know NOTHING!!"

LOL!  They both look miserable.

Later on, Barb ran into Max at the Consignment Shop.

"What the FUCK is going on here?"

"Oh man, I feel like such crap!!"

Hey!  You're baby buddies!!  Wow, Max, you move quick.

"Can you believe it?  Daddy up and DIED on me!  Now who's gonna watch the baby?  Dad works evenings and nights, right when I wanna go out!"

"It'll be okay, sis!  I'm pregnant, too.  We can be baby buddies!  I'll watch the babies some nights for you, and you can watch them some nights for me!  It'll be so fun!"

"Oh for FUCK'S sake!  No one understands me AT ALL!!"

You are unique.  And I hate to tell you but your situation is about to get worse.  Back at home.......

"Huh.  I probably should have let the big V wear off before getting on the treadmill."

"I'm ready to go see Oz, Grim..  I hope they have toilets in heaven, I really gotta go!"

"Actually, Oz is here haunting the house.  You're going to the graveyard with me.  You can hang out with Breezy, Dazzler, and Dizzy."

"That is not the woohooing afterlife I was hoping for."

"Like I give a shit.  I'm in charge of the journey.  The destination is your own damn problem."

And there goes the last of Generation Six.  Now Barb is really on her own.  I don't think I've had a solo sim since Grape.

"This sucks!  I hate being by myself.  Actually, I love being by myself so long as someone else comes to clean the house and take care of this baby.  Why can't I hire anyone?"

Because the rules state that you can't.  And......... well........... there's no good time to tell you this, BUT ................... chances are pretty good that you will have more than one baby."

"WHAT???"

I had her take fertility treatment with her first 10,000 points (right when she aged up), so she'll probably get at least twins.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

Look at it this way, you can get the whole kid thing over with in one pregnancy.  I want you to have at least two kids, so if you have twins....VOILA!!  Done!

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

She'll be fine.

"Well, this isn't the best car out there, but I can't find anything better.  Why are you taking a picture?  This is hardly my finest thieving moment."

This really is a very important car, Barb. You'll see.

"Suddenly I'm feeling very accomplished."

The Big Lemon put her over.  Fastest LTW of the legacy.  Now Barb can kick back, relax, and raise babies!

"UGH!!"

So here's her booty, not counting the pet washer and bed.  A shit ton of cars, some higher end items, and a few low end things taken by accident.  Oh, and two dirty plates stolen while she was in school.

"Ahhhh, the plates.  I was just starting out then.  I knew I was gonna be big someday."

We sold it all except for the pet stuff and one other item.

Looks pretty fuckin' sweet, don't you think?  Now Grimmy can watch over these morons at the house as well as the ones in the graveyard!

They are now worth well over $400,000.

Next day at the elixir shop (it's so obvious where I send my sims every day) Barb ran into someone ........... special.  And considering her situation, she figured she'd better spill the beans.

"Ah, such a beautiful day!  Perfect for bringing my perfect little family on an outing to the magic shop.  I just love my life!................ Oh shit!!  There's that groupie chick from the theater.  Just keep walking, maybe she won't see you."

"Yo!  Crichton!!  Over here, man!  We gotta talk!"

"Crap."

"Look, Miss.......whatever your name is, I'm here with my family okay.  Please don't cause a scene."

"Yeah, whatever.  Look, you need to know something.  I'm pregnant with your baby, quite possibly babies since I've, apparently, been unwittingly taking fertility drugs.  So I'll just send you my address and you can drop that monthly check in the mail, k?"

"What??  Aw hell no!  How do I even know that baby is mine?  I am NOT paying you any child support!"

"Look, asshole, here's the deal.  You are the ONLY guy I've ever slept with, and it ain't because you're anything special, either!  You were there, cute, willing, and being a rock star in the music career didn't hurt.  I'm gonna give birth tonight and either you're gonna show up at the hospital or you're not.  If you show, then the baby/ies are YOURS and you ARE paying me child support, or else your wife and all of fucking Appaloosa Plains is going to know about it!"

"Okay, okay!! Damn.  Just........quiet down."

Toni Bull-Nelson: "Hey little one!  I'm just so excited for you to come meet your happy family!  Gerald and Brandi are so anxious to meet you!  Isn't it just wonderful?"

Gerald: "Too bad I can't talk, Mom.  Then I could tell you that your wings aren't rendering, and that my little brother or sister is going to have quite the extended family."

I'm assuming Toni is a fairy, as Crichton sure isn't, and Gerald certainly is.

Can I just say how much I love that Amy Bull's hair is still kicking in what I presume is her great-granddaughter?

"Alright, alright, if I get called to hospital...............*sigh*.............then we can talk.  Just don't tell my wife, please!"

"Sure thing, Crikey!  See you tonight!"

No sympathy, Crichton.  Keep it in your pants next time.

"The FUCK are you all staring at??  Have you NOT seen a woman in labor before?  Now go stare at the butt naked attention whore back there and leave me the fuck alone!!"

And off to the hospital she went.  How many babies does she have?  Does Crichton show?  Does he really pay child support?  How does Barb, the undomestic goddess, do all on her own?  Find out next chapter.

Torchholders: 7

LTW: 3
Children: 20
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/16
Pass Outs: 7
Pee fails: 11
Fires: 3
Fights: 0  
Reach top of career: 1
$100,000: 4

We Love Uncle Buck

"Welcome back, assfaces!!  Who's your goddess now?"

And so Barbra Amadeus becomes the torchholder for the seventh generation.  I'm sure she'll do wonderfully, charmer that she is.

"Screw having a job, I wish to live life on my terms."

Oz:  "Yay!  Mark and I can finally boink all we want!!"

She rolled "heavy sleeper" for her trait, and "Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law" for her LTW.

"I feel the need to possess a lot of 'new' cars."

I'll bet.

"You know, I don't really care if these douche canoes want to leave me an entire cake, but what the fuck are they all looking at?"

Great, there's goes that music again. They're not all looking at MVP so I don't think it's him.

"I wanted to come die where a lot of people would be around to mourn me, so I feel special and loved.  Screwing up a birthday party is just gravy."

"Where's Grim?  Is he coming in the front door?"

"Maybe he's stuck in a wall somewhere?"

"Are you guys ever going to throw out those chewed up pieces of metal crap?"

Barb: "Fucking hell I hate parties."

"Crap, I do hope Grim is coming. It'd be so embarrassing if I had to go on living after causing such a scene."

*cough cough* "What the hell?  Don't you people ever mow your lawn?  And I thought I got your last dog.  What, did you hide this one under the bed?"

Just take him and go.

Barb couldn't wait to get started on her lifetime wish.  It only took a minute or two of looking around town to find the perfect object to get her off on a solid note.

"Hey!  Some shit-headed, ass-licking, one-percenter left their sports car parked out in plain sight on their driveway!!"

 Your new torchholder, everyone!

"Oh yeah, I got this in the bag."

She found two other, lower end, cars to steal.  Not too shabby for her first night.

So new torchholder, new house.  They stayed in AP, after all they just got here.

Like her father before her, Barb loves the outdoors.  So I kept the outdoor living feel of the old house.  The kitchen is outside, except for the fridge.  There is no stove, only a grill.  I'm curious to see how that goes.  Oh, and the obligatory puddle of old man pee.  You didn't even make it through the gate, MVP.

"It's not my fault!  I'm old!  And I had to pee before we moved but I wouldn't quit swimming ran out of time."

*sigh* Here's the patio view.

Top down view of the bottom floor.  It includes a sitting area, with fireplace, a workout/tv area, and a bathroom.

And the second floor, complete with bedrooms, bathroom, and two upper decks that I don't know if I'll end up doing anything with.  It was right around here that I realized that I forgot to place all the various shit I'd stuffed in everyone's personal inventories.  Oops.  I remedied that before taking any more pictures.

Looking toward the sitting area.

And the gaming/exercise/tv area.  See, I remembered the gnomes this time!  Oh, and I'm playing on a new laptop with some new towns and stuff packs.  Thus the pool table.

I guess his wife died?  I may have deleted that notification. Ivy is the one who punched her arm right through him at Max's birthday party.  Who knew it was true love?

"What the HELL, Max?  I'm taking a bath in here!!"

"I'm sorry, Grandpa, but I REALLY need to pee!  I'm not gonna make it up those stairs!"

"Pee outside!  That's what I do!"

"Well I'm not a DAMN DOG!  Now GET OUT!!"

I have a feeling that I could put 5 bathrooms in the house and they would still pull shit like this.

"ACK!  ACK!!  Help.......me.......Max!!!  Green...........mist.........killing........me!!!"

"I cannot wait to move out of here into my own house.  And Grandpa, what the hell are you doing to yourself?  What's wrong with your face?"

"OH GOD!! THE TOXINS!!  THEY'RE EATING ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!  HEEEEEEELLLLLLP!!! GET THEM OUT!  GET THEM OUT!!"

MVP is getting to be a really old dog, maybe the dementia is kicking in.

"Anybody looking?"

"Car??  I'm sorry, Officer.  I don't see any car?  You must be mistaken.........what?  You're suggesting I put a whole damn car up my........???  That's preposterous, and harrassment, I'm going to report you!!"

There's no police in sight.

"I'm just practicing.  No harm in being prepared."

How awesome are those boots, btw?

"Oh yeah.  THIS is SWEET! Thank dog those nosy, no-life assholes whining and moaning over random graves finally left."

"Best.Fucking.Job.Ever."

It's not really a ..... you know, nevermind.

"What the?  Where am I?  Where'd everything go?  Why am I surrounded by leaves and branches, but I can hear music?  Is it........FAIRIES????  HOLY FUCK, THEY GOT ME!!  HEEEEEEELLLLLP!!!!"

Oh for pete's sake, Grape.

"Alright, I've never played this game in my life but I know you need to line things up Just So."

"Come on, baby!  Mama needs to get her own place!"

"YES!  That's what I'm Talkin' About!!"

The pool table is a hit.

Yes, my simself is still married.  Yes, MVP went anyway.

"Look, lady, I came all the way across the street for this date and I don't appreciate being stood.....what?"

"Oh, there you are! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you. My your thought bubble is very attractive, I'd love to get to know you better."

"Well of course it's attractive, puppy dog, it's YOU!!"

Damn Ambitions glitch.

I love Twallan's mods.  nraas > mastercontroller > sim > basic > outfit > my stupid simself > everyday1

"I must say, your speech bubble is just gorgeous!"

"Why thank you, ma'am!"

"Well, I'm gonna go in and do my own thing.  Can you please take the long way so we don't go in together?  I'm a married woman."

"Whatever.  Not like I wanted to bang your old ass anyway."

About as exciting as autonomous sim dates get.  I left them to go check on Barb and Oz at the pool.  I had Barb take her father as he doesn't have a job and needs to get out once in awhile.

Although had I known that THIS is what y'all would be doing together, I'd have left his crazy ass home.

"Don't be disgusting.  I'm his DAUGHTER for shit's sake."

"She's got all the wrong equipment anyway."

...............................

I'm.............just.......................gonna get yanked back across town to watch MVP die.

"That bitch killed me, didn't she?"

"MVP Amadeus, your reign of furniture destruction has finally......"

"Wait!  Wait for me!  I gotta get in position."

"Oh no!!  This is going to be in the paper!  What if they mention me?  How will I ever explain this to Richie?"

"Wait, you're here on a date with a married woman?  Hell yeah!  Get it, Dog!!"

"Thanks, Grim, but this was the worst date I've ever been on, including the time the boys followed me out to the criminal warehouse in the middle of the night.  I'm ready to be done with this and move on to haunting my granddaughter."

"Excellent!  Dating really is the great leveler, isn't it?  It's why I'm still single."

"Well I never!  Fine!  Go wake people up and keep them from going to work or school.  I don't need you!  I'm the hottest catch in this town!  I'll get someone else.  What's Oz up to?  Is he still gay?"

My simself, everyone.

MVP still managed to earn the big gravestone, in spite of not even coming near the achievement of his LTW.  Way to go, man!  I did not expect that.  Yes, the graves are all in front of the house.  Why not?

After a quick encounter with the moodlet manager, Barb was on a mission.

"So, Alfred, here's the thing.  This town is damn near overrun with werewolves and fairies, and since you all destroy everything, and the fairies live for goddamn ever, I've decided that I'm done with the whole frackin' thing.  Hold still."

"What did you do?  Everything smells different, as in not at all."

"You went and married my cousin Roxanne, Alfred!  So if the two of you had babies, they were guaranteed to be werewolves.  You're neutered, get used to it."

"I don't know if Roxy's gonna like this.  What if she dumps me?"

You two fight all the time.  If she hasn't dumped you by now, she's not going to.

See?

Barb celebrated her triumph by dancing on the counter at The Grind.  This is what happens when you get drunk, Barb.

"Pffft, please.  Save the jealousy for your mama."

Any guys you like?

"Here?  Blech!!"

Ladies?

"Girls don't like me and I don't like them."

I didn't set someone aside for her as she's the type to not give a crap about breaking up someone else's relationship.  So if she seems interested, I'll hook her up.  Or she'll have a one night stand, whatever it takes to get the next generation.

Oz and Mark, at least twice a day.

"I love the pharmaceutical industry!!"

"OWWWW!!  Dude!!  I can't bend that way anymore!"

Sophie got old!  'Bout damn time.  Of course she'll probably be around another generation or two, but at least now she may kick it before this legacy is out.

After some clubbing Barb decided to steal the truck in someone's driveway.  The guy came home before she could get it and, instead of calling the cops, he invites her in. Moron.

Hmmmmm.  This looks promising.  He's married, but who the hell cares?

"You're kind of cute!"

"What?  No thank you!  I'm happily married!"

"But.....you invited me in and said that I'm hot!"

"We're not even friends!  I'm not gonna cheat on my wife with someone I hardly know!"

Now, Barb has several friendship elixirs that her predecessors have accumulated over the years.  But screw this guy, she's got something else in mind.

"Hmph.  Dumbass.  What does he need paintings for?  Did you see what he was wearing?  He'd be more at home at the dump!"

"Take THAT, playa!...................you're right, Craig, there's no future for us.  I'm going home!  Bye!  Asshole."

Meanwhile, in the yard...

"OWW!!  The hell man?"

"Play fair or fuck off!!"

"Sorry bro'!  Don't be a hatah if you can't be a playa!!"

Yeah, I'll stop now.

"You're the new torchholder, huh?  How come you haven't at least got a live-in baby mama or daddy?  What's taking you so long?"

"Look, ghost lady, shut the fuck up.  Not that it's any of your business, but I don't need any man, or woman for that matter.  I'm fine on my own!"

"But who's gonna help take care of the babies?  And this brand new house is already going to shit.  You gotta get somebody in here."

"Hello??  I've got two dads for that. And there ain't gonna be a BABY, let alone babIES, for quite awhile. Now fuck off.  I'm busy."

"Well aren't you just darling?  Fine, I'm going, but I'll be back.  Can't wait to see how this plays out!"

"Puppy agrees.  This house is poopoo."

Bitch please, like your house was ever any cleaner.

Um, what's this?  Care to explain?

"Nope.  Fuck off."

Alrighty, then.

"I love this game!  My trailer was shit, but at least my great-whatever-grandkids get to live in style!"

And Barb wished for a hot tub.

Hell yeah, we're visiting Uncle Buck!

"Hi!  I was just passing by, and I know it's really late, but I realized we haven't seen each other since my birthday party.  Mind if I hang out?"

"Sure, make yourself at home."

"Oh, I will."

"Jaysus, look at the cars he owns!  Thank you, Uncle Buck!!"

"Hold on, what the fuck just happened?"

You stole the ceiling light instead of the car, you moron.

"Bite me.  I'll get it this time."

"There!  See?  I know what I'm doing."

Just get the other car so we can go.  And don't take the damn light instead.  You can only steal one more thing tonight and, god knows, you can't show your face here again.

"Come 'ere, you gorgeous thing!"

"Booyah!!!"

"Hmmmm.  I'm thinking it's time to go home."

Probably.

"Well, it's been a fun visit.  Can't stay to chat, gotta get home to the Dads. Maybe I'll see you around town!"

"Mmmmmm, squishy.  Puppy like."

"....................................."

"...................................."

"Yeah.  I definitely won't be back."

Check that shit out!  Less than $10,000 to go!  We love you, Buck!!

BWHAHAHAHA!!  No, we won't be stopping by.  But Congrats, Buck.  I hope she doesn't mind sloppy jalopies.

"It's my birthday!!  Hooray!!  I can finally move out!!"

Ready to go?

"Yes.  My selfish, lazy sister couldn't even be bothered to throw me a birthday party."

Truth.  Barb did not care one bit.

Max rolled "brooding" for her trait, fitting for a teen that got mostly ignored, and her LTW is Physical Perfection.  Good luck with that, sweetie.

"I hate you."

I'm sure you do.  I moved her into a little house close to town.  It's a tiny one bedroom, but it's all hers.

Barbra Amadeus!!  What is going on here?

"Oh for crying out loud!!  You're not my mother, I don't have a mother.  Go the hell away!!"

Good enough place as any to end it.  Next chapter, the house emptieth and fillith up again.

Torchholders: 7

LTW: 2
Children: 20
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/14
Pass Outs: 7
Pee fails: 11
Fires: 3
Fights: 0  
Reach top of career: 1
$100,000: 3