The End

"But it's a slide!"

It's not, really.

"It looks like one."

It does, but it's the underside of the stairs.

"I don't see any stairs."

*sigh*  Just stay put.  It's your birthday and your dad is coming for you."

"For crying out loud, Dad!  I'm a hundred miles away from the candle!  I can't blow that out."

"Honey, just blow.  Trust me, it doesn't take much."

"I'm getting really tired of all the bullshit going on around here."

Taj grew up a genius.  And a little scary.

"I'm going to go eat my cake, now."

You do that.

"Hello!  Can everyone please move back?  I need a buffer of about 10 more feet to get to the cake that's right in front of me!"

"What is this kid going on about?"

"I don't know, something about the cake.  Just grab a piece and run."

"How's my mouth, now?  Is it okay?  Are you sure?  Should we measure it?  We should measure it, see if it's proportional.  I'll get Dad's measuring tape.  HEY!  Is everyone making sure they are turning off the faucets properly??  We don't want to waste water!! And please recycle your napkins, there's a bin in the kitchen! Right near the stove.  So when you're recycling your napkin, please check the stove, make sure it's off.  We don't want to waste electricity, do we?"

A neurotic environmentalist.  Swell.

"Dude, what is up with your mouth?  It looks painted on or something."

"There's nothing wrong with it.  I measured it, it's fine!"

"I don't know, man.  Try smiling."

"NO!  No, no.  Nevermind. I don't think there's much you can do."

" ..................................................................................... I'll be right back, I have to find Dad."

The ghost dogs are going strong.  This is Dusty.  He initially belonged to someone on death's doorstep, so Ursula and Reggie adopted him.  He floated over to take a nap on the floor.

"Dammit, Dad!  Can't you walk out of that thing like a normal person? You almost hit me!"

"Sorry honey, but when the entire army of Genghis Khan is after you, get out however you can."

"Dad, it is not possible that Genghis Khan's entire army was after you.  His army was tens of thousands of soldiers strong."

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!"

"**sigh**"

Jefferson is a child.  I can't tell but I think he favors Ursula.

"I wish to get more enjoyment out of this crappy life."

"You people are not helping at all."

"Sorry honey, but it feels like we just did this."

She rolled excitable.

"I don't think it worked."

Flying up the stairs, while fun, is not going to work, man.  I'm sorry but you gotta walk.

"Please can the humor and just reset me."

Alright, who the fuck walked away from the stove?

*crickets chirping*

NEFARIO!  GET DOWN HERE!!

"But ... I don't know how to make grilled cheese."

It's almost done, just take it out of the pan with a spatula.

"A what?"

Everyone survived.  The sandwiches were even edible.  Expensive stove = totally worth it.

"Oh yeah.  Don't mind me, pretty leadeh, I'm just passing through.  GrrrOWL."

"Sitting naked in the tub, face level with a ghost dogs ass.  My life has come to this."

You're welcome.

"How come Taj gets a birthday, too?  She's younger than me?"

"Because I'm amazing, dumb ass."

Because I'm done, I just want to see what y'all look like as adults.

Eiffel rolled "workaholic", and his LTW is Illustrious Author.  Taj rolled "computer whiz" and her LTW is Dynamic DNA Profiler.

I honestly don't know which one I would have picked.

It's been a fun 10 generations.  They are worth over $500,000.

The final tally,

Torchholders: 9

LTW: 4
Children: 29
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 1/17
Pass Outs: 12
Pee fails: 16
Fires: 3
Fights: 0  
Reach top of career: 3
$100,000: 4

Not too shabby, they would definitely be well into the positive.

Death and Pee

"I don't WANNA be a part of this family!!  You take me back, lady!!  You can't do this to me!  I have rights!!  I want a lawyer!!"

Meet little Eiffel Amadeus, the first baby of generation 10.  He's an artistic little fellow who really is just happy to be here.

"Am NOT!!"

So this is it, the 18th hole, the 9th inning, 4th down or whateverthefuck is an appropriate football metaphor.  Last chapter Dr. Nefario became our final torchholder.  He married childhood friend sweetheart, Selena, and the family moved to a house in Riverview befitting Nefario's architectural vision.

"Eh, it's okay.  Way too much orange for my taste."

Come right in and make yourself at home, why don't you?

"It's not too bad.  It's very roomy, nice furniture, big backyard.  But .... there's something off about it.  I can't quite put my paw on it ........"

"AAAHHH!!  DIRTY DISHES!!  OUR ENEMY IS UPON US!!  FLY, YOU FOOLS, FLY!!"

"Don't need to tell me twice!!  There's some little, blue worm upstairs making an ear-splitting screech!"

Everyone's marrying a Bayless!

I missed the initial announcement but Ursula joined the education career.

Since he's not working, I let Nefario drink all the skill booster elixirs his predecessors acquired.  It didn't do squat.  It raised just about every skill he has other than painting.

He stays at home and takes care of Eiffel, and paints or sketches when he has time.

He's going to be home for awhile, yet.

Eiffel inherited his grandmother's blue eyes and his father's hair.

"Yay!!  I am so lucky, Eiffel.  I get the fun part and your daddy gets to do all the work!"

"Work?  Please.  I got this skilling stuff DOWN."

"Hey Buddy!  Whatcha' doing?"

"Goo goo gaa gaa.  You haven't taught me to talk, yet."

"You hit it, Bud, with the mallet.  Right here."

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

"Or, you know, just chew on it."

"Zzzzzzzzzzzz  I sure could use a turkey to chew on zzzzzzzzzzzZ"

"Ugh, some moron broke the tv!!"

That was you, Karl.

"........... Was not.  I'm just trying to watch the new Captain America movie.  I like that guy.  He's also, kinda living in the wrong time."

You are not "living" in the wrong time, Karl.  You went to the Stone Age, got a new outfit, and haven't let it go since.

"I don't see how that's relevant."

"Oh my god, that young lady is NAKED in there!!"

"I'd care, crazy ghost lady, but I'm just too relaxed."

"WELL! I never!!"

Oh stop it.  You do.  All the time.

Bonnie and Ezekiel's daughter, Leia, became a young adult.  She's got Crichton's cheekbones.

Clyde becomes the second (yes, only the second) sim in this ISBI to reach the top of his career.  I can't remember who the other one was.  I think it was MVP.

Of course she's due to give birth a few hours.

"Ahhhhhhhh.  Such a  nice, comfy bed.  Oh ............... shit!  There's something I need to do."

Have a baby?    No, not yet.

"Uuuuuugh!!  I can't believe I have to get back out of bed!  I just laid down!"

"Hot tubzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.."

**Five hours later**

Let's see if I can pick even one trait.

Or I'll get to pick/roll both of them.  Again, I don't understand this game.

Here's little Taj, named after the Taj Mahal.

If Nefario wishes for another baby, they'll have more.  But I'm good with two.

Nefario wished to take Taj's picture.  I think he needs a new cell phone, the camera on that one is shot.

"Come on, little Taj.  Poppop has to show you something."

"I'd rather be in my crib."

"See that, Taj?  They are BOTH broken.  How's a man like your Poppop supposed to get the good porn?  I can't use the tv, it's right there in the main part of the house.  I can't use my phone, I can't see that blasted thing anymore.  And magazines?  It's the 21st century, Taj.  Poppop can't deal with a damn magazine."

"Countdown to blood curdling screams in 5 .......... 4 .............. 3............."

And Chasity claims the number 3 spot for sims topping their career in this ISBI!  Of course she and Clyde are at the end of their lifebars (and Clyde is several days overdue at this point.

"This is all your fault, Missy!  You move in and all the computers break!  I don't know how you did it, but I know it was you?"

"The HELL are you talking about?  I mean, I know y'all are crazy, but there's crazy, and there's CRAZY!  Now you're being the latter."

"I am NOT crazy!  I need my entertainment!  If it weren't for that damn time machine, I wouldn't get any action at all!  This house came with only ONE double bed, YOURS!!"

Truth.  I didn't expect both Clyde and Chasity to still be alive for long after the move so I never replaced the two singles with a double.  The time machine is where all the autonomous woohoo happens.

"Alright Clyde, calm down.  I'll talk to Nefario about fixing the computers, okay?"

"BOTH of them?"

"*sigh* Yes, both of them."

"Okay.  Don't take too long, I'm about to explode over here."

"Clyde, we really need to stop talking about this."

Cousins!!  Here's Reggie, btw,

he's got those trademark Bayless eyes, too.

"Uh oh, I think I got a little too excited over the new computers."

Let's focus on the positive, shall we?

"Wazzup, bitches!!  I know you all missed me."

SHE LIVES (sort of)!!!!!

"Yeah, I had to show eventually.  I'm fucking starving to death, I needed a box."

I am assuming she eats drinks constantly because she starved to death.  And she still leaves the boxes everywhere.

"HA!!  You're fucking welcome!"

Of course she likes to work out,

and fight with her daughter in law.

"Ugh, GOD, you're back??  I thought we lost your ashes in the move.  I knew it was too good to be true."

"Who's this old hussy?  What happened to the pop tart my son married?"

"Loooook at me!!  Look into my eyes!!"

"Woah, what?"

"I said MY EYES, BITCH!!!!"

"Death is approaching, he is coming for you ................. and I'll be waiting!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"Well OF COURSE death is coming, you sad, pathetic, empty shell of a woman.  My lifebar is completely full.  Pfffft.  I'm GLAD I'm going to get shipped off to the graveyard.  Anything to avoid this screeching harpy."

More cake, sparkles, and spinning.

Fuck yeah, purple eyes!!

"Why did you age me up outside when all the toys are in the house?  Now I have to crawl all the way across the yard!"

Eiffel's turn is next.  Come on everyone.  I know it's the second cake but you could muster a little more enthusiasm than THAT.

Clyde:  "I'm just waiting on me and Chasity's turn with the time machine."

Chasity:  "Fine, but we going to the future this time!  I'm tired of doing it in unheated or un-air conditioned mud holes!  I'm too old for that shit."

Selena:  "When are y'all gonna drop dead so the second hand embarrassment can drop a whole truckload of notches?"

"Holy shit, where the hell is my diaper??"

He is potty trained, thus the problem we're having now.

"I need cloth diapers anyway, those ones I used to wear are horrible for the environment."

He rolled eco-friendly for his trait.

Here's a better look at him.  I can't quite tell, yet.  He looks like one of those kids that has to become a young adult before I can really determine his appearance. His mouth is weird.

"You'll have to excuse me.  I need to go into the house to eat my cake and pee myself."

"Okay, make that pee myself, THEN eat my cake."

"STOP looking at me!!  Now, where are our cleaning rags, as I'm sure as hell not using the paper towels?"

Yeah right, like you're going to clean that mess up.

"You're right, I should leave it there to evaporate!  No trees killed, no water wasted!  Brilliant!"

The parents had their adult birthdays that night.  I love how everyone's half naked in this family.

Eiffel: "It saves on laundry, everyone should do it."

You haven't had that baby yet?

"I'm just here for the cake."

"Huh.  I'm sparkling.  Is it my birthday, too?"

Not exactly.

"Clyde Amadeus, I would like to commend your choice of death day. Hijacking your family's quadruple birthday is nothing short of ..."

"WAIT!!  I need to get a good view of this!  Hold on, just a second."

"PERFECT!!  Okay, go ahead."

God dammit, Selena!!

"Please, Grim!  I'm not gonna get any action in the afterlife!  My wife is getting shipped to the graveyard.  The only other ghosts I'll see are my ancestors!"

"Brother, please.  This is The Sims.  You can bang anyone from your great-grandfather on up, nobody cares around here!"

Selena: "Oh FFS!  He's dead and we're STILL talking about this?"

So long, Clyde. I'm sure we'll see you around the yard.  You may be the last torchholder to die in this game, provided that Nefario doesn't do something really stupid.

"Oh Clyde!  I can't believe you left me here, all alone with our half-witted son and his whore of a wife.  Why couldn't I have been the one to die first?"

*next day*

"About fucking time."

"Hey now, looks like we CAN agree on shit!"

"OMG, you're exploding!  This is SO awesome!!"

Grim: *cough cough*  "What the hell IS that smell?"

Taj:  "I dropped a deuce. Dad, you're gonna have to clean that up.  Now if you'll excuse me, the 'bang bang' toy is calling."

Nefario: "Ugh, really Taj?  You're killing me, here! You couldn't wait?  You're ruining your grandmother's death!"

Taj: "I'd give a shit, Dad, but I'm fresh out."

"Chasity Amadeus ............ I'm sorry I'm really going to have to speed this up due to the unholy stench in h..................."

"Whatever, Grim.  I'm OUT!!!"

And so she went.  Bye, Chasity!  You made pretty babies and are this ISBI's first dime store bride.  There's no dignity in that, but this game is pretty short on dignity all around.

"Yes, I had the baby.  Take a picture, it'll last longer."

Meet little Jefferson, who is athletic AAAANNNNNND ...................... wait for it ........................................................... INSANE!!

"Meh meh meh, I'm some random vagina married into this family.  I think I'm queen of the castle now that the witch is dead. Meh meh m ..............."

"Lady, who ARE you?  Are you supposed to be one of the ghosts from the backyard?  Where's your grave?  And why are you red?"

"Why, why, why?  What the fuck is this? Kindergarten?  Look dumbass, I'm the alpha bitch in this family.  That's ALL you need to know."

Yup, Chasity dies and Barb simply moves on down the line.

All the way down.

"Think of me as Bad Ass Red Bitch, fighting for the people.  And by 'people', I mean me."

"Okay, strange, glowing lady.  If you're the heroine, what's your superpower, and who are you fighting?"

"Heroine?  Where did I say heroine?  I am NOT the heroine, I am the super villain, thank you very much. I'm fighting people who get in my way and irritate me.  My superpower is bitch slapping and tongue-lashing people who deserve it, which is everyone.  Child."

"You know, I kind of like you, Bad Ass Red Bitch.  I shall call you, BARB, for short."

"I find you acceptable, descendant.  You have more brains than the rest of your family put together. Grow up well, don't disappoint me, and perhaps someday you may be my sidekick."

"Awesome!  I'll be Super Cool Radical Environmental Awareness Man!!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, kid.  And no you're not, that name is beyond stupid."

Little Jefferson became a toddler.  He's got the purple eyes, too!

Next chapter should be the last.  The kids will grow up and I'll pick the final torchholder.

Torchholders: 9

LTW: 4
Children: 29
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 1/17
Pass Outs: 12
Pee fails: 16
Fires: 3
Fights: 0  
Reach top of career: 3
$100,000: 4