"Oh my god, what deranged, uncouth asylum is this? I knew I shouldn't have accepted that invitation."
Meet Riley, Butch's son with Sophia. At least he didn't inherit his mother's affliction.
"I can't believe what's going on here. I should have listened to my mum."
Gregorio: "Oh MY, I didn't know it was going to be THIS kind of party. How.......intriguing."
Buck: "Uh, Emanuel? I'm married. Could you.....just....not?"
Emanuel: "Mmmmmm, much sexier than the counter."
Dammit, Emanuel! If you can't quit humping everything in sight I'm gonna stop inviting your pathetic ass to our parties!!
"Ha-Ha!! You were totally glitch-humped!! Everyone saw!!"
Shut up, Ivy. And get your circus freak arm out of Buck!
Buck: "This party sucks. Why are we even here?"
Good question Buck. It's supposed to be someone's birthday.
School's been out for an hour and a half, Barb. You coming home? You're kind of the guest of honor here.
"Pfffft. Why should I make it easier on you? My birthday parties always suck."
She finally skipped the bus and rode her bike home.
*two hours late*
"I wish to become torchholder so I can fuck with the simgod for my entire life."
"You know you want me."
She rolled Kleptomaniac, one of my favorite traits. I think we're going with her. Max looks too much like MVP, at least Barb brings something different.
"Fuck yeah."
Everyone loved the party in spite of the late start, and the overwhelming lack of respect for personal space. Buck, in particular, managed something impressive.
Wow, Buck! Congrats on the promotion you achieved without even being at work!
"I'm in politics! A few phone calls, some emails, a soundbyte for the local news, and HELLO?? I'm not partying, I'm connecting with my constituents."
I wish that didn't sound SO realistic.
So, you gonna go to bed? You should establish a good sleeping pattern for when school starts on Monday.
"Why do you keep harassing me? Go mind someone else's goddamn business for once. Go bug my father, isn't he the one in charge here?"
And just like a teenager, she proceeded to do the exact opposite of what I wanted.
Apparently doing homework was better than going to sleep. I don't even know how you have homework, you haven't been to high school yet.
"Homework? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This ain't homework. It's a map of the school along with the staff schedules."
???
"Didn't I just tell you to mind your own fucking business??"
You have to respect someone who meticulously works toward their goals.
I hate to say I told you so.
"Then DON'T. GOD you're annoying."
"Besides, I can't go to sleep when there's some weird caveman ghost flitting around!"
That's Karl. He's your great-great grandfather. Better get used to him, he likes to haunt.
"He's only my great-GREAT grandfather?? Why the hell is he wearing something skinned off the corpse of Manny?"
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Meet Hagrid! Freezer Bunny Gnome number three.
So I've had these dogs for sim weeks now, and Georgie before them, and I'm only just realizing that they eat with their front paws actually in the food dish.
*snarf snarf* "Keeps the dish from getting away. **snarf snarf*
Makes perfect sense.
"Hey darlin', I hear you wanted to speak to me?"
Yes, I'd like an explanation for this....
You are fully potty trained!!
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!! I was in my room and had to go ALL THE WAY OUT BY THE POOL to get to my potty!!"
There's a second potty right outside your bedroom door.
"I DON'T WANNA USE THAT ONE!! I'M JUST A BABY!! WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Oz keeps rolling wishes to freeze things, increase the toad population, or, in this case, set more shit on fire.
"Uh, lady? You might wanna move."
"Oh my, this fishing scene is just exquisite. No one fishes in my home country. We just pull the fish out of the toilets after they swim up the pipes from the sewers."
"And this lighting is just ingenious. It adds so much texture, depth of color, and......warmth?"
"Oooooo, is that a fire exhibit? They have fire art in Twinbrook? I had no idea this place was so avant-garde!"
"Well this has been fun. Time for me to go."
The art museum was full of tourists. Which makes sense, at least as much sense as the very idea of people vacationing in Twinbrook of their own free will.
"Fire art. Hmmmmmmmmm"
Kids, don't try this at home. Oz is not a professional, he's just stupid.
And Oz goes home, leaving a roomful of panicked sims in his wake.
"Hi y'all! I heard there was a broken toilet here? Y'all know anything about it?"
"You know, I don't think I like Twinbrook after all. After I put this out I am leaving this moron infested shithole and never returning."
Roxanne grew up.
"No offense, but this party is kind of a snooze."
This, no shit, was the majority of the party. Sims standing around yawning, booing, and staring at each other. I think it may be time for a new game file. This one is getting SO buggy/laggy.
"I look just like my grandfather, and I got the same trait as my sister."
Disciplined. *yawn*
"Hold on, this isn't our street. It's our house, but not our neighborhood. What the hell happened? What about our party?"
You're in Appaloosa Plains. Party's over. I packed up most of the town, left a few old people and werewolves behind, and plonked them down into an emptied AP. I annihilated the town first so NONE of the original sims are around. It's all Twinbrook rescues and a few sims I made, plus whoever SP moves in.
Oz broke in the new town by taking the dogs to the dog park. Where he ran into a couple of old dogs.
*sniff sniff* "Puppy like this new place. Lots of good animal smells."
Meet Alfred, he's Helena's (Abdul's wife) son with Karl II. He's also the first AP victim of Oz's spell casting wishes.
"I've never cast this spell before, so I'm not sure of what's gonna happen. But don't worry. You'll be fine. Probably."
*whimper* "Puppy feel......HAUNTED! But....but...puppy doesn't see anything. There's nothing there!!"
Oz wanted to cast the haunted spell but I think total annihilation takes out all the ghosts as well, so there's no one to haunt Alfie, here.
Zed was having a swell time with big brother Abdul.
"Oooooohhhhhh yeeeeaaaaah. That's the stuff."
"I wanna move in with you!"
Not happening, Z.
Classy, Oz. Quit gossiping about your own family.
"I miss my pool! Screw you guys, Ima gonna walk home!"
Karl wakes Max out of sound sleep in the middle of the night.
"A caveman ghost! He's not gonna drag me out of here by my hair, is he?"
No, but he may take you for a ride in his foot powered car, with his pet dinosaur.
"AWESOME!!"
It really would be. Max, however, was not taking any chances.
"I'm gonna sleep up here where I'll be safe. Everybody knows ghosts don't climb ladders."
Meanwhile, Oz continues
"What do you get when you cross a fairy and a witch?"
"I don't know. What?"
"A FAYCICLE!!"
"Th-th-that's not f-f-f-funny!!"
"You're right. Your pants and shoes are MUCH funnier."
Meet Snape, the new dryer bear.
"Ugh! Cut that out, you stupid dog!!"
Now what's he doing?
"Ahhhhh, just about right."
He does this every time he swims.
"I don't know what you all are complaining about. I'm making an indoor pool! Be nice and I'll let you swim in it."
No thanks.
"Yeeeee HAW!! Ride'em Llama!! You don't need this counter, right?"
Thanks Snoopy. He's not the only one getting in the way. All of a sudden the gnomes decided to mess with everyone.
Play Doh: "My deep thoughts tell me that it's a good thing you have a back door."
It's actually an arch but whatever. Thanks for making them go alllll the way around the house just to get in or out. And Snape? You're new here, you're not supposed to be such an asshole this early on.
"I'm doing you a favor. I'm helping the stone golem keep that spoiled, undisciplined, arrogant Harry Potter out of the house."
That's Oz, not Harry Potter, and it's his house.
"That's what the ministry wants you to believe."
I left Oz to his own devices at the family rec center and did a session of school stalking.
Butch's son, Riley, is now a teen.
Gee, I wonder whose descendant this is?
He's Buck and Ashley's son. Ashley is my daughter with Goodwin. She did not get her father's lips but she's clearly a carrier. Nice to see he inherited his maternal grandmother's hot-headedness.
"Oh, you're following me to school now? Creep."
Tonks continues to be scary.
I guess disciplined is replacing hot-headed as the family trait. Blah. It's such a nothing trait if no one's learning martial arts.
This guy may have Amadeus hair, but he's not related. He's my simself's youngest child.
So that's what my latest boy toy looks like. His portrait never loads in the notifications. Nice. And Hunter's another klepto. Looks like Barb may have some competition for the expensive cars.
While I'm stalking I've still got Oz as my active sim. I didn't pay close attention to him, I think he played with the virtual reality goggles for ages. Then I see this,
He's in the middle of ice blasting someone/something. No more students were coming out anyway, so I zoomed over to him.
He's in the bathroom. Is there someone in that stall? Doesn't that hurt?
"Pffft, please. Walls mean nothing to
"And no one's in there....yet. Don't you see? I'm freezing the toilet. So when the next sim comes in and sits down, their butt cheeks will freeze to the seat and they'll be stuck!! It's genius!!"
I'd sit here and stare at this toilet for the next 4 sim hours if there was any chance that could actually happen.
That night both Oz and Mark were due to age up. Oz did so in the front hallway.
OH HELL NO!!! I am sick to death of this fucking riding outfit. Damn you, Pets!! No no NO!!!
There. It's a martial arts robe, so it's still in the spirit of his original clothes, just less personally offensive. And yes, those two fuckers have been blocking the door for over a day now.
"Harry Potter shall not pass."
"Yup, still look like my dad."
He got the riding outfit, too, but since he's not insane he doesn't wear it All.The.Fucking.Time, and it's the blue one, I let him keep it.
Speaking of old.
I believe the lifebar gets full at 50 days for the medium lifespan. I'm not sure how much longer that goes for a werewolf. I love you, MVP, but you've got to stop destroying the furniture sometime.
Brains: "You're very big. I like you!"
Horse: "Who said that?"
Oz was out and about, I think I'd sent him to the elixir shop to see what they had in stock. As he was leaving to go to the arcade I heard the death music. No one was dying at the shop, everyone seemed okay a the arcade. I figured he'd passed someone along the way and it wasn't worth trying to find. As I didn't get jerked anywhere, it didn't even occur to me to check back at home. As he was upgrading the arcade sink, he got this notification,
What?? Why didn't I get jerked back home?
You better not have drowned, you stupid dog. Oh well. So long, Brains. You were very cute, and you earned the dog washer.
I guess Zed didn't want to go on without his best buddy because he died later on that same day.
"I'm coming, Brains! Don't start hunting without me!!"
"Awwww! You're such a cute puppy! I love my job!"
*SOB* "Oh Brains, you can't die!! I'll miss you SO MUCH!!"
"Wait, you ARE Zed, right? Brains is the one I got earlier when the simgod wasn't paying attention? Please tell me I didn't screw this up!"
"No, I'm Zed. Please just get me out of here so I can be with my brother."
"Oh good. People I don't give a shit about, but I like to give my furry friends a proper send off. Smoochy-smoochy!"
Max: "Wait, we had TWO dogs?"
Mark: "Well, there are two dog dishes in the kitchen."
Max: "I thought one of those was Grandpa's!"
Bye, Zed! Thanks for the dog bed!
After the deaths of two of the less irritating sims in the house, life goes on. And by "life" I mean another birthday.
"I wish my cousin would quit being such an asshole."
"BOOOOOO!! Max is boring and her pig tails are stupid!!"
She gained the athletic trait. She's pretty but Barb is a lock at this point.
Nice! I've been to quite a few parties that ended looking a lot worse than this by the end of the night.
A few days later it's Barb's birthday, meaning our soon-to-be-ex torchholder has one last thing to take care of before passing the torch.
You know, I'd say something, but if his arm hasn't been hacked off by now, he can punch his way through a minecraft diamond wall and be just fine.
"Wait, what? I'm not a witch anymore? Why would you do that?"
Because I have experience with witches in ISBIs and what happens is, lots of setting people on fire and freezing them. No thanks.
"Now I'm boring."
I guess we'll see. You can still woohoo Mark to your heart's content.
Next chapter, the torchholder for Generation Seven takes over!
Torchholders: 6
LTW: 2Children: 20
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/13
Pass Outs: 7
Pee fails: 10
Fires: 3
Fights: 0
Reach top of career: 1
$100,000: 3
