You Hold The Baby, You Own The Baby

"OH MAH GAWD!!  What happened to that poor animal??"

Welcome back to the Wicked Short ISBI.  Last chapter Venus took over as torchholder, Karl failed...a lot...and then he died, and Venus and Dennis had little Llama. 

"My granddaughter is a genius!"

"OW!!  I tink I dot a spwintah!!"

Walking again, huh?

"I don't see why you make such an issue out of this."

It's a another girl!  She's named after the Llama's opposing team.

"I can't believe I got off work for this!  Is there birthday cake at home??"

"NO there's no cake!  And slow the fuck down!"

Came back to discover that Mara had dumped her favorite little genius in the yard.

"Nana tes no poopies in dah house, doggy!!"

Oh, and the washing machine is broken.  Bitchin'!!  I bought them a new one.

Venus became an adult.

Next morning little Alpaca had her birthday.

She looks a LOT like her dad.  Also no werewolf, btw.  Not that I really want one, but JFTR. Both girls have this pronounced underbite.  I blame Dennis.

Ha!  One of Dennis' SP fuckups is dating the screaming baby from the gym.  I wonder if Laquita is still a screamer?  Meanwhile, across town.

"Huh?  Why did I leave work in the middle of the morning?"

"I guess I'm not getting that final promotion."

She had one, at most two, more shifts before she'd get her LTW.  Figures.

And the "Most Annoying Best Photobomb of the Chapter" award goes to......RAMIN AMADEUS!

Ramin:  "Thanks y'all!  I appreciate you taking notice!"

"Please, Grim!!  I'm almost a five star chef!  Can't you come back for me in a few days?"

"Didn't you skip work to read a book, just last chapter?  This is your own fault!"

"The nerve of some people."

"IKR??  People be skipping work, thinking it don't matter."

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Dude, I'm a fairy.  I got YEARS to take over this restaurant.  I got time to take for a good death scene."

Speaking of death....

"Hello!  What's this in here?"

Your granddaughter.  Don't go freaking her out.

Well, she WAS sleeping.

"Hee hee!  Dis guy is funny wookin'!!"

"Hmmmm, this one does not look like me."

"She shall pay."

Dammit, Karl!!  Don't kill the babies!!

"Whelp, I got you up and disrupted your entire sleep schedule.  Mission accomplished!!  Here, watch some tv with your great-grandpa."

Thanks Karl, thanks a lot.

"What the hell?  I can't get to Llama with Alpaca in my way!!!"

Yes, because she's clearly blocking you, from the opposite side of the damn room!!  Morons.  I ended up making Venus snuggle Alpaca so I could go into buy mode and move the dollhouse.

It's Llama's birthday!

She rolled "perfectionist". 

"This place is a dump!!  And nothing matches!"

Welcome home!!

Uh-huh.  That's nice. 

So what the fuck are you doing?  He started racing around the outside of the house, sniffing. 

"Puppy need prey!!"

Oh.  You also need to use the bathroom but whatever blows your horn.

"AROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  Success!!"

Sweet!  I've never even seen one around town.

I named him "Baskerville".

"Oh man, I really gotta pee!!"

Well get in the bathroom!

"Can't, Mom and Dad are in there."

"Honey, you're blocking the.....oh nevermind.  Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

"YAY!!  My husband is still hot!!  Even if he is losing his hair when he's not a werewolf!"

Cause that makes all kinds of sense.

"I still can't get in.  I don't think I'm gonna make it."

There's two bathrooms!! TWO!! 

"But the other one is all the way down the hall."

What do you mean, "all the way"?  It's a trailer, for crying out loud!!  I'm not asking you to navigate the Spelling mansion!"

"It doesn't matter.  The game's gonna crash, I'll make it to the bathroom the next go around."

And so it did.  And so she did.  Dennis aged up in the yard the second time around, freeing up the VERYIMPORTANTMUSTUSETHISONE bathroom.

*grumble grumble* "Lazy jerks."

"I gotta do every damn thing around here." 

That's how it is with the third pregnancy.  First one everyone's falling over themselves to help.  Second plus pregnancies, you'll be lucky if someone helps you bring in the damn groceries.

"Mama picked up that trash can you kicked over, Dad."

"That's okay, sweetie.  Daddy'll get it again tomorrow."

Father-daughter bonding over flies and stench.

"This kitchen is disgusting.  I don't know how anybody can live here."

All is forgiven, Karl.  You can stay.

"Yes, I'm walking AGAIN."

Meet MVP!

Our first boy! And our first

Dennis caught a Glow Fly.  I've never seen one before.  It's pretty.  My daughter approves. I named her Big Bad.

"You stupid radio!  You woke me up."

You could sleep in your bed, instead of the treehouse.

 "Wake me up again and I'll stomp you."

Birthday time again!

I know, I know.

She rolled "frugal". She also inherited that poop colored hair that I can't stand.  I may change it at some point.

And here is where all manner of exciting things must have happened because we skip right to...

MOAR BIRTHDAYS!!  Can you just taste the excitement. Thinker!  Are you actually pregnant?  That'd be so cool!  Gay couples never procreate in my games.  I have to play God and make them a baby.  Oh, did I not mention...

Yeah, Thinker's bi.  He found himself an old dude.  Awesome.

"No I'm not pregnant!  Must be something I ate."

I knew it was too good to be true.  Well, you're pregnant now.

You're welcome.

MVP: "Come ON Mom!"  *tug tug* "You're taking too long!"

Two cakes, two birthdays. It's Llama's turn. 

"I wish to be able to make more of those annoying, yappy, toy dogs."

MVP.  He looks a lot like his mother and grandmother.  I think he's a cutie.

Llama rolled "eccentric".  She's pretty in her own, weird way.

Oh Alpaca.  Why you guys can't make it to bed, I've no idea.  And Llama grew up, the treehouse is all yours.

Thinker's having a good time. 

"YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

He stuck around waaaayyyy past the end of the party.

"Ewwww.  Creepy old man in the bed I was gonna sleep in."

Go home, Thinker.

"Ewwww, pink butterfly!"

GO HOME, Thinker!!

"Nah, I'll just have a cup of coffee."

You are your father's son. 

In the middle of the coffee he finally decided to leave.

He stayed all night.  WTG, Thinker. 

Venus maxxed athletic.

And promptly wished for this,

Eh.  There's no way she's making her LTW, so might as well.

The destruction of the furniture continues.

"Bad puppy!!  Very bad puppy!!

"Lady, you ain't seen bad."

You scare me, kid.

"I'm pregnant again!!!"

"Oooooo, hasenpfeffer!"

Alright, I said maybe on a good look at Dennis' SP fuckups.  So here they are.  And they have the nerve to be all cool-looking and shit. Jerks.

There.  Why are they here?  Why else? 

"Who's the asshole?"

That's your Uncle Thinker.  He's probably laughing at me because his pollination didn't take. He's not pregnant.  Turns out Rex is dead.  Bummer.

"I wish to have more in common with my Uncle Uncooperative Tool Thinker!"

"Really?  I don't know about that, kid."

She rolled "family oriented". 

"This toy is caca!!!"

"Au contraire!  Play Doh thinks it's hilarious!!"

Oh joy. 

"Pfffft.  It ain't like I'm gonna get arrested or nothin'."

No shit.  The cops in Moonlight Falls SUCK.

Except this one!

"Take that, you stripey little bitch!"

"Holy shit!  Did I just see a cop kick a burglar's ass?  Are we in an alternate dimension or something?"

If we are, this dimension is preferable.

"Are you gonna shut off that alarm?"

"Sorry kid, not in my job description."

You're my new favorite NPC, Officer!

"That chair is crap, Mama."

"Gee son, I wonder why that is?"

"I'm in the kitchen, with a bowl cut, in my underwear."

You're an Amadeus, sweetie.  Comes with the territory. He rolled "vehicle enthusiast", of all the useless traits.

The last baby of Generation 5! 

Yes, Go Sports!!  He's named after,

I like it.

"Dammit!  I can't get to the food processor!  How am I supposed to make my salad?  I'm STARVING!!"

I don't know, use a counter and cut it by hand?

"Whaaaa???"

Yeah, put in a processor and suddenly Sims forget how chop salad. 

"I have HAD IT with everybody's bullshit."

Full Moon, kids.

"You're holding my baby!  You hold my baby, it's your baby!"

Felix Oviedo: "What?? I don't want your baby!"

"Then put him back!!  Or else he's all yours and you're taking him home!"

"Whoa, whoa, lady.  Calm down!"

"I'll go put the baby back, okay?  Damn."

Go Sports!!: "Nooo, take me away.  Please!!"

"Okay.  I put the baby back.  I, uh, seem to be trapped in here."

"Look, I just want to tell Felix to behave, will you all move?"

"No, I want to tell Felix to behave."

"No, I want to tell Felix to behave."

"No, I want to tell Felix to behave!"

"Don't worry about the baby's diaper, I got it!"

"You leave our baby alone, Felix!  You're being inappropriate!"

"Man, I'm gonna pass out."

"Honey, the simgod is telling me to go to bed, so you need to move."

Sims and their navigational non-skills.  Venus finally got out of there and went to bed.

Next day is her elder birthday. 

"A cat sweater?  Really?"

LOL!  Sorry, Venus.

Go Sports!! ages up.  He looks a lot like Mara.  No one got Venus' red eyes.  Oh well, maybe the grandchildren will.

"This is way better than the pick-up!!"

I got her one with her happiness points.  She likes it.

So I was feeling bad for Thinker.  He's about to be an elder, he's family oriented with the Surrounded By Family LTW, and no children.  So I instant babied him.

The "donor" is some random service sim.  I decided to go with a service sim so there's no "cheating" issues for the game to harp on.  And since family is so important to Thinker, I figured he would name his son after Karl. I randomized the gender of the baby.

A few days after Karl II's birth I sent Venus over to Thinker's house to check up on them.

"Time to meet your new cousin, GS!"

"So how's it going, bro?"

"Busy!  I got a new baby out of nowhere, and my dog just had 4 puppies!  So we're pretty full here."

Awww, they're cute!  They remind me of Ted.

Here's Little Karl!  I am impatient, and I think he was due to age up today anyway, so I did it for him.

Here's his stats, btw.

Here he is in CAS.  Trigger age transition was not working for me.  He is too adorable!

"Mmmmghsfftssssssmmmmhmphaaaaahhhhh!!"

Oh dear.  That's not bad cc, I don't have any cc, that's Lil' Karl glitching up.  I reset him and he was fixed.

"Scahed you fow a minute, didint I?"

Yup.  I think it's time to move.  I'm getting save error 12s and glitches.  We made it about a full generation in this town.  That's all I get.

So next chapter, new town!

Torchholders: 4
LTW: 0
Children: 13
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/7
Pass Outs: 6
Pee fails: 0
Fires: 2
Fights: 0 
Reach top of career: 0

$100,000: 0