Keeping It In The Family

"Please, I've got time."

You better hope so. Welcome back.  Last chapter Clyde became a poor, suffering creature in chains, and Barb became a vampire.  Appaloosa Plains was getting very glitchy so I saved just about everyone and moved to Riverview.  They are living in one of my builds.  No tour this time, but it's got a large main floor with two bedrooms, an upstairs consisting entirely of the master bedroom and bathroom, and a large basement that they'll likely never use. And a hot tub.  Of course there's a hot tub.

Clyde had a few athletic points so this will be his first job.  If I play this right I think he can get his LTW, which is Jack of All Trades in case anyone forgot.

Bonnie is doing well, except for jumping on the incest train.  Meet Ezekiel,

He is Roxanne's son, so Buck's grandson.  I'm not sure how he's related to me, but he clearly is.  So Bonnie is dating her second cousin.

Anyone hear a banjo?

NO 2, don't do it!!

*sigh*  Kids.  They never listen.

"We moved again, huh?  Are there fairies in this town?"

A few.

"*sigh*  No one listens to me.  There is some wierd stuff going on in this house, and I'm not talking about you finally realizing that you can stack the bug cages after all this time."

"Ugh, do we have to bring the ghosts EVERYWHERE we go?  It's gross enough around here."

Hold on, are you doing ........................................... laundry?

"Yesss.  I can do what I want now, so I figure I might as well give it a try.  Don't get attached."

Meanwhile, Grape gives herself a house tour.

"This is a nice room.  Much bigger than anything I ever had."

Founder's envy.

Clyde: "Why am I awake?  I just went to bed."

"I'm getting to urge to call my sister, Fox."

"Ugh, Gramma Grape, I know you're 'The Founder', whatever that means, but you need to go away!"

"I hear this place has a basement, too.  I'll be back later.  Don't date fairies, descendent."

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  turkey zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZ"

Georgie didn't see any reason to leave the living room, even though I did remember his bed.  It's outside by the graves.

Just keep the squick coming, guys.  I guess this is what I get for emptying towns and importing all the current families every time we move.  So Buck's daughter is dating Max's (her COUSIN's) son.  I may have to keep at least some of the townies in the next move.

And Vag?  She needs therapy.  Lots of therapy.

Again?

"I don't see a problem here."

Really?

"Look, I'm not your trained monkey anymore.  Go the fuck away!!"

So the moodlet counted down and this is what happened.

"Oh man, I'm exhausted."

*sigh*  And a new moodlet with a long countdown took it's place.  So I guess Barb dying a firey death is not bloody likely. She went inside after she woke up.

Clyde went to the arcade to see if there were any new young adult females that aren't one branch away on the tree sims to meet.  No luck.

"Hi, 2!  I'm your brother, Clyde.  I don't know if you remember me, you moved out when I was a kid."

"Oh, yeah.  Nice to see you, again.  How are things at home?"

"It's alright,  I guess.  Mom's still working, she gets arrested once in awhile but nothing we can't handle.  Oh, and she's a vampire now, did you know that?"

"A vampire?  You mean that not only is she not dead, she's gonna be around forever?  Damn, glad I got outta there.  I'm sure the girls are, too.  How are you doing?  How is it being torchholder?"

"It's okay, man.  I mean, it's fun being in charge, but I don't always get to do what I want. And the pressure's on for me to get a girlfriend.  Do you know any single girls?  That aren't related to us or about to become an elder? And kind of hot would be nice, too. There's got to be some out there, but I'm striking out, man!"

"I don't know of anyone, sorry Clyde!  I met a really nice girl awhile back but I snagged her for myself. I can keep an eye out for y.......................OH!  You know, there is something you can try, if you're desperate."

"I AM desperate but, how desperate are we talking?"

"Wellll, it's not too bad, but there's money involved.  Have you been to the spa?  You probably haven't noticed but they also offer a matchmaking service.  For a five-hundred simoleon fee they'll set you up with someone.  You can choose male, female, age.  No guarantees, but at least they'll be single.  Anyway, something for you to consider."

"Eh, we're loaded.  What have I got to lose?  Thanks, 2!  I'll see you around.  Unlike Mom, I'll be throwing some parties."

"Good luck, Clyde!  See you soon."

"Alright, let's get this over with."

**elevator music**

What's the matter, babe?

"I cannot believe who you made me choose!"

You know, Clyde, sometimes you just have to take one for the team.  Quit being such a baby.

I had to do it.  IT WAS AN OPTION!!

Of course when we tried to call, Grimmy is unlisted.  So fuck him, I let Clyde do a second go round.

She was near the top of the list and she looks pretty.  Good enough.  And yes, it's not Chastity, it's ChaSITY.   Because stupidity.

"WOW!!  She's really beautiful!  Don't blow it, Clyde.  Don't say something stupid."

"Damn!  You're hot!!  Like, totally worth the five-hundred bucks!!"   "Shit!!!"

"Yeah.  I don't think this is going to work out."

Oh no you don't!!

Get her, Clyde!!

"You know, suddenly I'm much more inclined to give this dating thing a try!"

"OMG!  You're insane??  Me too!!"

LOL!!  She's perfect!

Clyde approves.

"Y'all are rich, right?  You gotta a lot of good stuff at home?"

Yes, but don't start making plans until you've met your future mother in law.  You guys are either going to get along famously................or it'll be World War III.  I don't think there's any grey, here.

Chasity was moved in without incident. Since the firefighter LTW is not happening, she'll need a job.

Business it is!!

Only a slight makeover.  I made her blue eyes even bluer, and gave her purple highlights.

We don't have time to waste so Clyde and Chas got right down to business.

"IT'S EVERYTHING I DREAMED IT WOULD BE!!!"

"STOP TALKING!! Do NOT talk!!"

Vag's sugar great-uncle daddy died.  Look out cousin Eddie, she'll be gunning for you, next!

Clyde hit level 5 of the athletic career.  I decided to put him in business with Chas since it doesn't require skills.  Speaking of...

You got the job, Chas.  You coming home?

"Shhhhh, I'm almost done with this chapter."

"Oh well, no work for me!"

Clyde tracked down his new boss, Derek (Derrick?) and decided to brown nose to get a jump start on his career become friends.

"Hello sir, I'm Clyde Amadeus."

"Ah yes, I know of your family.  Isn't your mother the batshit crazy bitch who stole Crichton out from under that sweet Toni?"

"Uhhhhh....................My mother's dead."  (not altogether untrue)

It's going well.

"Hold still, sir, this won't hurt a bit,  I promise."

"Well, young Clyde, I know we've only just met, but I feel like you and I could be good friends!"

"That's wonderful sir!  You'll enjoy having me.  I'm a very hard worker."

"I'm sorry?  I don't understand?"

"I'm your new employee, sir.  I start tomorrow."

"I'm retired, son.  You be mistaking me for someone else!"

GODDAMMIT!! Wrong Derek/Derrick/Derrik.

Generation Nine, on the way!!  Clyde is at work so Chas is on her own.

"This had better be worth it!!"

It's a boy!

Dr Nefario is named after the evil genius responsible for these guys,

Evil and purple!

Right around the time Nefario was born Clyde wished to marry Chas.  I swear I took a pic of the wish but I must not have.

Chas cannot resist the shiny.

They do really like each other.

With so many graves on the lot, the ghosts come out in force some nights.

"EW, no I don't want to play Wii Sims with you.  That game is horrible.  I'll wait for Dad to get off the computer, or pass out."

When Clyde isn't working or taking care of Nefario, he's painting.  I'm hoping to accumulate enough paintings to jump him right up to level 5 when he joins the painter career.

Overall he's a better parent than Barb, not that the bar was terribly high.  Really, there may not be a bar.

There's a hole in your tunic.

"That's so I can drop a deuce without much effort.  Down you go, Nefario."

"Heh heh, I love babies."

Look at his eyes.  It's like he's possessed.

"I MUST HAVE ALL THE LOLLIES!!"

Run, it's demon Clyde!!

"Heelp!!  Satan's in my room!!  Save me!!"

Positively creepy.

*snap*  And we're back to normal.

"What happened?  Why is Nefario on the floor screaming?  Was Mom in here?"

Stay away from the sugar, man.  It does weird things to you.

A few spare updates,

Vag, Glen is NOT on the family tree (at least not in the past four generations).  You're starting to slack.  You really need to get on that.

Well, my simself spawned with 2.  And I'm assuming I'm in law enforcement?  Either that or I'm the bad cop.

And Gregorio is Lupin's widower, he's still kicking.  I think he may still be a young adult. He'll show up in party pics at some point.

Awwww, Dr. Nefario!!

Those are definitely the family eyes.  I'd like to think he got his blond hair from us as well, but it could just as likely be from Chas' imaginary parents, seeing as she was an NPC.

Toddler spam!!

"Alright, what do I do with this?"

Hit the colored bars with the mallet.

"This thing?"

Yes.

"Okay.  Here's goes nothing."

*PING*

"OW!  It hit me in the head!!"

It did not.  You're fine.  Shake it off and try again.

"No way, Jose!  This 'mallet' is trouble, I can tell.  Just like those lollipops."

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm........lollipops."

Scenary shot!

In all the obscene number of hours I've played this game, I have never once noticed the moon.  I need to look up more.

Nice outfit, Barb.

"I hate it!  I can't believe they make me wear this. I might as well throw on a nuclear yellow safety vest for how subtle this is.  Another promotion or two and I get the black suit."

Not if you don't actually go to work.  Or disaster srikes, like, you starve yourself to death, hypothetically.

"I AM WALLOWING IN MY OWN FILTH!! Somebody change my diaper, NOW!!"

Poor kid.  Clyde is at work, so "now" turned into several hours.

"I do love horror movies.  The screaming is so realistic, and in surround sound!"

"Vvvvvvvvvvvv are you fucking kidding?  I hated changing diapers with my own kids, I'm sure as hell not gonna do it now vvvvvvvvvvvvvV"

"Daddy will be home from work any minute now, Nefario!  Time to change your diaper!"

"Isn't this asshole going to let me in?"

"I wonder how much they charge for extra large pest control here in Riverview."

"How rude!!"

"Okay, I'm ready!"

Good, now stick the square peg into the square hole.

"Got it!!"

"Yay!!  I like this toy!!"

"Alright, in you go!..............*smack smack*.......hmmmmmmmm."

"This one? ........................*smack.....smack....SMACK*"

"AAAAARRRRRGH!!  I HATE THIS TOY!!!"

"Aw, it's okay little guy.  Just keep practicing!"

"Weeeeeeeeeeee!!  I love my daddy!"

"Daddy?  Daddy??  What's going on?  Daddy??"

"Cannot................resist.............must.................steal..............lollies."

"HA HA!!  MINE!!  THEY ARE ALL MINE!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"I am so tired of this rubbish."

"Well hi there, puppy!  You're not going to eat my cereal, are you?"

"Well I don't know, you dumb broad!  Put it on the floor and let's find out!!"

I love it when Georgie haunts.

"Come on, Nefario.  I promise I won't steal your lollies right now."

"I don't know, Dad.  You are kinda freaky."

"You have to learn to walk sometime!"

"Woah....catch me Dad!!"

"Lol!  I got you!!"

Clyde is cute with Nefario when he's not making him cry.  He rolls wishes to teach him his skills, toss him in the air, all that stuff.

I can't fulfill her wishes for her anyway, but Chas has rolled almost no baby wishes.  This is what she does most of the day.

"*sniff*  Oh hell yeah!  I smell like a WOMAN now.  Clyde is gonna LOVE it!"

Clyde's too busy becoming an adult.  I suppose new hair was too much to hope for.

"Catch it, Barb!"

"Are you fucking joking?  What the hell kind of throw is that, you big wuss!!"

"THIS is how you throw a football!!"

"OW!!  What the FUCK, lady??  You could've...........................SHIT!!"

"See what you did??  Now I'm in labor, you stupid bitch!!"

"Oh come on, you crybaby!!  I gave birth to five, yes FIVE, kids.  Quit your bitching and moaning and pick up the ball!!"

"FUCK.OFF!!"

Next chapter, will Barb and Chas kill each other?  Will the new baby survive its birth?  Will Barb survive her apparent inability to feed herself and stay out of the sun?

Torchholders: 8

LTW: 3
Children: 26
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/17
Pass Outs: 9
Pee fails: 14
Fires: 3
Fights: 0  
Reach top of career: 1
$100,000: 4