"Zzzzzzzzz So trashy I could just eat it zzzzzzzzzzzzZ"
That about sums it up. So we are on torchholder number 7, Barbra, who is suddenly with child. Max grew up and moved out, the car population of Appaloosa Plains is leaning more and more heavily in favor of Sloppy Jalopies and Big Lemons as the more expensive cars are
All is well at the Amadeus household, until Oz and Mark rock the bed one time too many.
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"Well dear, I'm ready for go number three whenever you are! Man, these little blue pills kick some ass, don't they?..............Oz? ..............Oz!?"
"Uh-oh, the rest of me is willing, but the ol' ticker seems to have given out."
"Oh NO!! OZ!!! I'm sorry! I take it back! We can be done for awhile, I promise!"
Dearest Mark, it doesn't work that way, I hate to tell you.
"HA-HA!! See? I CAN materialize in just the right spot!!"
Good for you, Grimmy! We knew you could do it!
"Damnit, Daddy!! You were supposed to be my free babysitter!! Dad has an actual job! Now I'll have to stay home. This is terrible!!"
Grim: "Yes, yes, people can be so self-involved. Now do you mind? I'm working here."
"PLEASE Grim! My first grandchild is coming in just a few days, can't I stay for ........."
"So sorry! My stick of awesomeness has a mind of it's own at times. Now what were you whining about? ....... Hello?"
And such is the death of Oz Amadeus, and with him the ability to easily make everything self-cleaning. I'm sure he's frolicking in heaven with Brains and Zed. Except he's really futzing around the yard and porch with MVP and all the other dumb asses. See ya' soon, big guy!
Let's catch up with a couple of spares for a sec, shall we?
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Abdul found a lady willing to have his puppies. I've no idea what happened with Helena. I'm wondering if they lived in separate homes and lost their relationship in the move. Eh. Like I give a fuck.
Max is doing well.
Of course she got the athletics job. And as for the number of sims occupying her previous home, you lived alone, you idiot! You have a cat or a dog and that is it!
"HEY!! My pet takes up a lot of space!! I needed to move out! You know NOTHING!!"
LOL! They both look miserable.
Later on, Barb ran into Max at the Consignment Shop.
"What the FUCK is going on here?"
"Oh man, I feel like such crap!!"
Hey! You're baby buddies!! Wow, Max, you move quick.
"Can you believe it? Daddy up and DIED on me! Now who's gonna watch the baby? Dad works evenings and nights, right when I wanna go out!"
"It'll be okay, sis! I'm pregnant, too. We can be baby buddies! I'll watch the babies some nights for you, and you can watch them some nights for me! It'll be so fun!"
"Oh for FUCK'S sake! No one understands me AT ALL!!"
You are unique. And I hate to tell you but your situation is about to get worse. Back at home.......
"Huh. I probably should have let the big V wear off before getting on the treadmill."
"I'm ready to go see Oz, Grim.. I hope they have toilets in heaven, I really gotta go!"
"Actually, Oz is here haunting the house. You're going to the graveyard with me. You can hang out with Breezy, Dazzler, and Dizzy."
"That is not the woohooing afterlife I was hoping for."
"Like I give a shit. I'm in charge of the journey. The destination is your own damn problem."
And there goes the last of Generation Six. Now Barb is really on her own. I don't think I've had a solo sim since Grape.
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"This sucks! I hate being by myself. Actually, I love being by myself so long as someone else comes to clean the house and take care of this baby. Why can't I hire anyone?"
Because the rules state that you can't. And......... well........... there's no good time to tell you this, BUT ................... chances are pretty good that you will have more than one baby."
"WHAT???"
I had her take fertility treatment with her first 10,000 points (right when she aged up), so she'll probably get at least twins.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"
Look at it this way, you can get the whole kid thing over with in one pregnancy. I want you to have at least two kids, so if you have twins....VOILA!! Done!
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."
She'll be fine.
"Well, this isn't the best car out there, but I can't find anything better. Why are you taking a picture? This is hardly my finest thieving moment."
This really is a very important car, Barb. You'll see.
"Suddenly I'm feeling very accomplished."
The Big Lemon put her over. Fastest LTW of the legacy. Now Barb can kick back, relax, and raise babies!
"UGH!!"
So here's her booty, not counting the pet washer and bed. A shit ton of cars, some higher end items, and a few low end things taken by accident. Oh, and two dirty plates stolen while she was in school.
"Ahhhh, the plates. I was just starting out then. I knew I was gonna be big someday."
We sold it all except for the pet stuff and one other item.
Looks pretty fuckin' sweet, don't you think? Now Grimmy can watch over these morons at the house as well as the ones in the graveyard!
They are now worth well over $400,000.
Next day at the elixir shop (it's so obvious where I send my sims every day) Barb ran into someone ........... special. And considering her situation, she figured she'd better spill the beans.
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"Ah, such a beautiful day! Perfect for bringing my perfect little family on an outing to the magic shop. I just love my life!................ Oh shit!! There's that groupie chick from the theater. Just keep walking, maybe she won't see you."
"Yo! Crichton!! Over here, man! We gotta talk!"
"Crap."
"Look, Miss.......whatever your name is, I'm here with my family okay. Please don't cause a scene."
"Yeah, whatever. Look, you need to know something. I'm pregnant with your baby, quite possibly babies since I've, apparently, been unwittingly taking fertility drugs. So I'll just send you my address and you can drop that monthly check in the mail, k?"
"What?? Aw hell no! How do I even know that baby is mine? I am NOT paying you any child support!"
"Look, asshole, here's the deal. You are the ONLY guy I've ever slept with, and it ain't because you're anything special, either! You were there, cute, willing, and being
"Okay, okay!! Damn. Just........quiet down."
Toni Bull-Nelson: "Hey little one! I'm just so excited for you to come meet your happy family! Gerald and Brandi are so anxious to meet you! Isn't it just wonderful?"
Gerald: "Too bad I can't talk, Mom. Then I could tell you that your wings aren't rendering, and that my little brother or sister is going to have quite the extended family."
I'm assuming Toni is a fairy, as Crichton sure isn't, and Gerald certainly is.
Can I just say how much I love that Amy Bull's hair is still kicking in what I presume is her great-granddaughter?
"Alright, alright, if I get called to hospital...............*sigh*.............then we can talk. Just don't tell my wife, please!"
"Sure thing, Crikey! See you tonight!"
No sympathy, Crichton. Keep it in your pants next time.
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"The FUCK are you all staring at?? Have you NOT seen a woman in labor before? Now go stare at the butt naked attention whore back there and leave me the fuck alone!!"
And off to the hospital she went. How many babies does she have? Does Crichton show? Does he really pay child support? How does Barb, the undomestic goddess, do all on her own? Find out next chapter.
Torchholders: 7
LTW: 3Children: 20
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/16
Pass Outs: 7
Pee fails: 11
Fires: 3
Fights: 0
Reach top of career: 1
$100,000: 4
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