Stupid Pink Fairy

Alright, this time I PROMISE, pinky swear, that you get a new TH. 

Let's catch up with HD, who went to a friend's house after school and, in true bad boy style, did his homework.

"I'm trying anyway, but this huge-ass house is distracting me.  I didn't know people actually lived like this."

His friend is Bernice Alto.  Poor HD, getting to see how the 1% lives, and how he'll never live unless Story Progression is very, very good to him.  Yeah, he's not getting TH. I don't think he really cares.

"Man, this is the life.  I can't believe I have to go home to the black hole of suck I live in."

Not for much longer, sweetie.

"That's right, it's my birthday. Gather round, bitches, there's plenty of HD for all."

Ugh. Oh, wait,

Grape had her elder birthday the night before.  And I cared so much that I took a single picture of her aging up, in the bathroom naturally.  Sorry about the walls down. I didn't even take an elder pic of her.  She'll show up at some point.

"You suck."

Eh.  Back to HD.

"I wish to have a built-in excuse for my jackassery."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

"Shut up, I exude studliness."

He rolled inappropriate, and rolled "Creature-Robot Crossbreeder" for his LTW.

Pancake went next.

"Third birthday's the charm for hair!"

"Hell yeah!  The line starts right here, Ladiez, you know you want what I got!"

He rolled kleptomaniac.  And I think the hair made him a little douchey.

"All the bitchez luv meh!  They be fightin' over me right now!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  I AM NOT PERFECT FOR THAT ARROGANT DICK-FACE!!"

"SUCK IT, BITCH!  YOU DATE ALL.THE.LOSERS!!"

"I DON'T DATE YOUR STUPID ASS, LOSER BITCH!!"

"Oh please!  It ain't "you don't date me", it's "I don't date you", cause you uglay!!"

Wendy and Renee, ladies and gentlemen. And, no, I don't remember which one's which.

"I've got a girlfriend!  I'm not a loser!"

That is not your girlfriend, that's your mother.

HD: "I am sensing that now is as good a time as any to move out."

"Hi, I don't have any money but I still want to live in one of them huge ass houses up on the hill, or maybe something on the beach..........Uh-huh..........yeah........oh.  No, I'll take that, it's a helluva lot better than the shithole I currently live in."

Hey!  There's Grape!  That's her in the green sweater with the ghost thought bubble.

"So long, assholes!  See you never!"

Oh HD, you'll be here for the next birthday party and you know it.

"*completely flat monotone* Yay.  It's my birthday."

And I cared so much that I......took more than one picture!

Grape, off-camera: "That's just all kinds of wrong.  I'm still torchholder over here!"

Hey, he aged up in the kitchen, not the tiny-ass bathroom.

"If I derp, can I be a teen again?"

"I'm gettin' some camera time, darn it!!"

It cracks me up that the only pics of her, thus far, in this chapter are of her back.

Awwww, no worries Chris, you're still really cute.

Chris wished to retire right away, since Grape hadn't expressed that wish, I let him.

"Hi!  You know all those late hours, chasing mice out of the supply closet, scraping mold off the food, and all the bathroom 'breaks' we didn't get?  Screw you people, I'm gone!"

He's happy about it. After everyone was in bed I went looking for HD's new digs.  While he's not living it up Alto style, he definitely got an upgrade.

Three whole stories all to himself. 

"'Bout fuckin' time."

He did get a roommate.

Meet Chloe.  She's not the only woman in his life.  He started dating Jocasta Bachelor, who's got one foot in the grave. 

"She's also rich."

Also true, and totally not relevant, I'm sure.

"Wooooo!  I am on FIRE!!"

She made vegetarian chili. 

"Oh Mah Gaw!!  I'm burnin' up!!"

Moo liked it.

"Great news, when my mom finally kicks it, I get the house an' everything in it!  How sweet is that?"

I've decided Moo will be the next torchholder.  I like her traits, and the purple eyes didn't hurt anything. BTW, Moo, your mom doesn't have to die first.  You get everything when you become a young adult.

"Wait until you see what I'm gonna do with this place.  It's gonna look SO much better."

I think Moo's vision of torchholdership is a little grandiose compared to the reality.  Not that the house couldn't use any work.

"Sink's broken, again."

You'd think he could fix it while he sitting there, but nooooo.

"There's also a hole in the wall."

Whaaaaaa?

"I do say, this abode is complete arse."

Looked who walked right by without a word stopped by!

"Just keep walking, don't even look, just keep walking and they won't see you."

Chloe: "Twash can!!  Want!!"

Too bad, Chloe.  Moo has dibs.

"Maybe there's pretty sparklies in here!"

In the trash?

"It's the only place I ain't looked yet."

"Hmmmmm, maybe the fairies put them in their can."

The flamingo's judging you, Moo.

"Aw c'mon, the gate's locked!"

Yeah, I locked it to keep the zombies out and never unlocked it.  Why do you want to get in?  All the plants are gone and I moved the sprinkler to the backyard.

"I don't know, I just want to get in there."

Well too bad, Sheldon, just move on.

"Well I'll just let myself into your house, then."

There are two things wrong with this picture.

"Hi, y'all!  Hope you don't mind me barging in."

"MOM!!  That fairy is here!!"

Oh shit.  Now Grape, be nice to your neighbor, he's probably here for Moo's birthday.  Uninvited, but still.

"Booo!  Crazy lady locked the gate for no reason!  You suck!!"

Nevermind.  GET 'EM GRAPE!!

Right after he changes back.

"Hee-hee, I'm gonna get you!!"

At least Pancake likes him.

"GET OUTTA MY HOUSE YOU RUDE FAIRY!! I did NOT invite you to my daughter's party.  You haven't got any business here, so get out!"

"Holy shit, that guy is totally naked!  What kinda lunatic asylum is this!"

"DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY HOME THAT WAY!  Now GET OUT before I toss you out on your skinny, pink heiny!  And honey, the party's about to start so you need to be properly dressed."

Par-tay!!!

MOO!  Get up!!  It's your birthday, you got candles to blow out.

"But I'm tired!!"

You can go right back to bed after your caking if you want, but go blow before the guests start leaving.

"It's my birthday, Daddy!  You need to cheer."

"Must.Defeat.King."

He has a problem.

"Thank you, Daddy!  Now, I wish to be able to share my awesomeness with the other sims of Sunset Valley!"

How noble.

"That's me!"

She rolled "hopeless romantic", and rolled "Fashion Phenomenon" for her LTW. 

That's it for Grape!  I sent her off to work before Moo blew out her candles, and she's freewheeling from here on out.  Next chapter Moo begins her reign as torchholder. 

Torchholders: 1
LTW: 0

Children: 3

Social Worker Visits: 0

Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/0

Pass Outs: 0

Pee fails: 0

Fires: 0

Fights: 0 

Reach top of career: 0

$100,000: 0