Poo

"Well that was a waste of time.  Not even any old pizza.  I'm gonna take my business elsewhere."

Welcome back to the Amadeus house, which is, apparently, not even good enough for a raccoon.  Last chapter introduced us to the third generation so far, Karl and Edna "Eddie" Mode, with Moo pregnant with number three.

"You know Eddie, I don't think your Uncle HD is really your uncle.  I think he's some vagrant that your grandma and grandpa took in out of the goodness of their hearts.  I mean, did you see that hair?"

"And he snores, Mama.  He is a hobo."

Later that day Karl celebrated his birthday with a bad ass party!

"I want cake, Mama!"

"I'm waiting to see if any of the idiots I invited actually get their butts out here and cheer for you."

Nobody did except Bella, who is busy hitting herself in the head with a stick.  All the other assfaces stayed in the house, save Pancake and HD...who didn't come.  Douchebags.

"OWWWWW!!  Mama!!  What the hell??"

Poor guy had to grow up in the bushes.

"That hurt, damn it."

He rolled "hot-headed".  And Game?  This childhood baldness is not going to become a thing.  I can put up with it on toddlers, but it irks me on kids.  Now that I've gotten a closer look at his eyebrows, I'm thinking Karl got Grape's purple hair.  We'll find out eventually.

The day only got better as it phased into night.

Everybody WAS sleeping.

"You'll never take me, PIG!!"

"Isn't anybody gonna turn this damn alarm off?"

My money's on the burglar.

"OW!!  My back!!"

"Somebody better turn this fucking thing off before I smash it with this here table!"

"I'm sorry but the burglar got away.  We'll get him next time."

He's still RIGHT THERE!  He's getting into the sloppy jalopy he pulled out of his ass!

"Pfffft, they didn't have anything good, anyway."

"This is all your fault."

Is not! I put an alarm in and everything, and it's not like anything got stolen.

"I don't mean the stupid burglar and the even stupider cop.  You won't let me go to the hospital!"

Oh, that.  You're the only one home, you can't leave Eddie.

"I am NOT doing this again."

Fine, fine, it's Jodie's turn next time anyway.

"I farted sparkles!!"

Meet Pugh (pew) Amadeus, an evil little guy who likes country music, vegetarian fish and chips (ew), and the color green.  He's named after designer Gareth Pugh,

who is responsible for such lovelies as these,

 

 

 

 

"You little rugrat!  You WOKE ME UP!!"

 

 

 

 

"You and your freaky eyes mad, bro?"

 

Look who showed up!

 

 

 

 

"It stinks in here."

 

 

 

 

"So Moo and I just had the BEST SEX EVER!  She knocked me right the hell up!!"

 

 

 

"I thought this was 'Dancing with the STARS', who on earth are all these people?"

 

 

 "Why the hell do we have a cat?"

 

"What cat?"

 

 

"Well, I guess you're not so bad."

 

 

 Actually, he is.  Time for you to go, crazy kitty.

 

 

"Sorry buddy, but the simgod says you're being inappropriate and you need to leave."

 

 

 Moo has her adult birthday!

 

 







She aged up with her mother's hair, again.  This time her pageant hair wasn't an option, so I went with the next best thing.

 

"At least my make-up still looks good."

 

 

Karl: "Great, one more person to dirty up all the dishes."

 

 

"Just one more game an' I'll go to bed."

 

Karl picks up where Chris left off.

 

 

"I really gotta pee, too."

 

*sigh*  Luckily no one was using the bathrooms and he made it on time.

 

It didn't help matters that he was woken up prematurely.

 

 

"Dammit, Poo!!  I'm tryin' to sleep over here!!"

 

"It's 'Pew', honey, not Poo."

 

"How about 'little shit'?  It's close enough."

 

"Go to bed, Karl."

 

Next day is a double birthday!

 

 

Little Pugh goes first, with his Mommy and big brother there to cheer.

 

 

So cute!  And he got the green eyes!  Looks nice with the dark hair, which he must have gotten from Jodie's side of the family.

 

Eddie goes next.

 

 

"Man!  Uncle Pancake farted a deadly one in there!"

 

 

 

She got Moo's hair!  She rolled "hot-headed", just like her brother.  Well that oughta make things interesting.  Next day is Karl's birthday, and Jodie gets the party going in style.

 

 

"Oh Mah Gawd, lady!  Your hoohaa just gushed water all over the floor!"

 

 

"Oh no!  My sister got fat, just like me!!"

 

"I am NOT fat, I'm pregnant you moron!!"

 

 

Meet Coco Amadeus.  He's a clumsy little guy, whose likes I forgot to write down.  He is named after

 

 

Coco Chanel!  Too bad he's not number 5.  We'll end it here!  Karl will age up next chapter, along with a whole lot of other nonsense, I'm sure.

 

Torchholders: 2

LTW: 0
Children: 7
Social Worker Visits: 0

Accidental/Total Deaths: 0/2

Pass Outs: 0

Pee fails: 0

Fires: 0

Fights: 0 

Reach top of career: 0

$100,000: 0